This morning, surveying my handiwork in the back yard as I looked out my kitchen window, I felt a welling of pride as I saw how well some of the plants had done. The beautiful foliage nestled up to and around the slightly eschew wheel barrow — there will be a peppering of yellow flowers with a few tall snapdragons standing guard here and there. One brave petunia survived the onslaught of snails and looked hale and healthy. Then my eyes were drawn to a few spots that could easily be called eyesores. Heaps of fencing and scattered empty pots; a bamboo plant that has burst from it’s plastic pot, a long crack down the side of it, exposing dirt, and one large rhizome making a successful escape. The cement patio pleaded to be repaired, with gaping cracks everywhere and the area where the plumbing to the septic tank was repaired and filled with brick pavers as a ‘temporary’ fix glared at me — “just when do you plan on finishing this job?”
As I turn from the window I realize that my house (oh, I won’t go there!) and yard are really a reflection of who I am. I wondered where that thought came from — but only for a moment, because I did know. I feel these reflective moments usually are God’s way of letting me know he’s there. Watching. Waiting. Wanting to see if I’ll bite.
And I usually do. There are times when I deliberately cut off the thoughts and continue on with my “busy” mundane life. But usually, like now, I listen, contemplate and engage.
So, there it is. A reflection of who I am. With all the ups and downs, tidy bits and messy ones.
All those beautifully kept flower beds and nicely nurtured spots around the garden; me when I am at my best, open and loving, keeping my life with God at the center.
Those parts of the garden and yard are easily seen, but there are also the overgrown, poorly kept sections of the yard where treasures are yet to be found or clutter deliberately hidden Opened doors and tightly shut ones are like my mind and life; thoughts and feelings, some of which I allow others to see and experience with me while others are still hidden, not ready — still too messy — to be revealed. I am at times like an open book for everyone to see, happy, wearing my heart on my sleeve, giving, loving. Other times, though friends seldom see this side, I can be a bit introverted, quiet (who, me?) and distant; unbending and disobedient to what God would want me to be. Not allowing for change to happen. Trying to do it my way, instead.
I do see it clearly now and laugh, thinking back to sermons, conversations and bible study lessons that all point to this bit of clarity. When He speaks, he makes sure he has “back up” information — not just the bible — for me to draw on. He’s great like that. Always. I just need to remember to listen. Always!
So, God has spoken and now it’s up to me to act on these discoveries.
Talk to you later. I have some serious ‘house cleaning and yard work’ to do!