Ebb and Flow

AS I WANDER AROUND MY YARD, I am constantly reminded how much effort it takes to keep the balance between Mother Nature’s natural desires to grow — to take over, really — and man’s desires to control that rampant growth.  Maintaining and ‘growing’ a yard, no matter what the size, takes plenty of enthusiasm, creativity…and energy.  Oh.  All of those, coupled with massive funds to make it happen. I have oodles of the first two.

It’s those every-elusive energy and funds that are my nemeses.  I have so many projects that have been started, my mind filled with ideas of grandeur, to make this my little piece of heaven on earth.  It’s the getting it done…finding the energy — and/or the money — to complete the jobs that fail me…quite often.  There are times I feel like chucking it all and huddling in some small apartment with no garden at all.  Let the manager deal with keeping everything green.  But, the itch returns and I’ve got to get out there and dabble.  I love gardening.  I love creating.  I just wish I could win the lottery and have buckets of money to throw at gardeners and landscape designers so they could build what my mind creates!

Don’t we all…

But, it boils down to a simple question.  I may want, but do I need all of this fancy-dancy stuff I’ve created in my mind?  To keep my sanity I need to ask, just what do I need?

A roof over my head (check–a more than adequate roof); money to give back to my church, support my sponsored kids, feed & care for myself and my critters (check, check, check…); a place I can be, whether at home or when traveling, where I can re-energize and express my creativity…both the artistic and writerly sides.  That’s not much of a ‘need’ list, really.  But I keep coming back to the actual ‘need’ — the desire to have so many critters.  I love them all dearly.  Clearly.  But can I care for them they way they deserve?  Probably not.

So, I am slowly winnowing my possessions, both animate and inanimate.  A long, slow, and painful process, to be certain.  But something that must be done if I am to be able to do anything more than just ‘maintain’.  I am looking for a sustained existence.  A simplified existence, where I can focus without so much clutter in my mind and life.

This is what is important in life…to be able to focus on what really matters:  God, family, friends and, of course, my artistic outlets…engaging in life on a simpler level.  It is as simple as that.  But it’s the getting there that is the hard part.

So, I begin.  Right now.

May your days be filled with simple beginnings, blossoming into a meaningful life that is more than just maintained.

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