Patience, Please …

WAITING. I’VE NEVER BEEN good at that, even though (until recently) I’ve thought myself to be a pretty darn laid back, relaxed person. Patience is one of the Fruit of the Spirit. As my daughter went through all her various growing phases, patience reined (well, mostly). Thank God for the abundance of patience given to me to get through those times. I think I’ve mentioned her lolly-gagging through meals … and our desires for her to hurry-up, right? And her response back to us? “I’m savouring it, Mom … I’m savouring it!” Lesson learned (at least for awhile …)—from a five year old.

But lately, my patience seems to have grown thin … even a wee bit moth eaten, with holes everywhere, allowing my impatience to flow through. Waiting on my slow internet connection … pages open so painfully slow.

Sitting, waiting in a doctor’s office. Waiting for my car to get fixed. Waiting. Waiting for doctor’s offices to return calls … or get authorisation to set up procedures. Life is definitely a waiting game, that’s for sure. It’s what you do with that waiting, right?

I’m not sure why I’m becoming so impatient. Impatience, coupled with frustration, may be my downfall. Doctors have become so specialised, so narrow-minded in their scope of care. I know the insurance industry has a lot to do with it. Sitting, waiting for my eye doctor’s staff to call me in, I’ve been ruminating on the fact that they (at least this office) will no longer do an eye exam (for glasses) in conjunction with an exam to check for eye disease. Apparently it’s not allowed (so they say) by insurance. I have to make two separate appointments. Or be thinking ahead enough to schedule the two together. That may be the reason I left them five years ago. Hmm. The doc I was going to in the interim uses numbing eye drops—which I seem to react badly to—to do the pressure test (to check for glacoma). At this office, they use a machine that puffs air on the eye, so the numbing meds aren’t necessary. The dilation medicine does sting a bit, but that’s no big deal.

… And then there are the patients that should be in hospital for just a wee bit longer. I’ve heard horror stories of patients having out-patient surgeries (like a hysterectomy)—that used to be done in-patient—and released after an overnight stay … where it used to be a minimum of three to five days. Insurance companies, not doctors, rule the roost these days. And we all must wait for them. Sigh.

It’s been well over a week and I have yet to hear back about a procedure that used to only take a day or two to get authorised and scheduled. Another procedure, I’ve been waiting for three days. It’s all about hurry up and wait. And I guess I’m just tired of waiting. I’m an action kinda gal. A get-it-done kinda gal. And, I don’t know about you, but I’m an oh-my-gosh-…-hurry-up-so-can-get-it-on-my-calendar-already kinda gal. So all of this waiting is driving me up a wall. To say the very least.

All of that said, I find that trying to rush, scurry and push things into happening usually causes more stress than necessary, so I’m trying to breathe … breathe slowly, smile and enjoy the quiet time forced on me as I wait. Key word is “trying” … My daughter’s concept of savouring—savouring time is a sound one … and one I should fully embrace. I’m trying. I believe in enjoying life, honest. It’s just that there are bouts of impatience that get the better of me …

Breathe … stop and smell the roses … chill … relax. Yup. I definitely need to slow down (as I keep glancing at the clock—I don’t want to be late for a doctor’s appointment!).

Have a blessed day and weekend, folks! Until next Friday … peace be with you!

Life’s Stages

SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF STUMBLING through life, taking falls, picking myself up, dusting myself off and plodding forward, hoping to make it to the end of the day in one piece. Other times, it’s as if the seas part—there’s not one obstacle in my path and I’m almost flying … with exuberant joy through the day.

As a young adult, I must confess, I was pretty myopic. Very unaware of anything that didn’t directly impact me. Completely naive of the terrors in the world, seeing only the good in everyone. A flower child if there ever was one, wearing rose-coloured glasses.

I’d like to say that I’ve held on to that glass-half-full optimism about most people and the rose-coloured glasses aren’t too far out of reach, but some skepticism has crept in, bit by bit as I’ve gotten older. Thankfully, still not bad, though.

Even as I aged (gracefully, I hope), I still found most people could be trusted and I’d willingly give my all to support them, whether friends, strangers or employers. I’m glad that helping others seems to come naturally. Doing what needs to be done. And I love doin’ it—even now. I’m not driven like some (who I admire for the fire in their hearts), but I will not waiver from the standards set by my parents. No compromising. No cutting corners. And if I promise to do something, my word is my bond. It will happen—unless I’m on my deathbed … it will happen (as long as I remember that I’ve made the commitment—I’ve taken to writing them into my calendar so I won’t forget!). There have been times that I wonder what on earth I was thinking, but since I said I’d do it, well … I did it—no backing out.

I don’t think that will ever change, no matter how old I get—at least, I certainly hope not. Things happen slower these days—that makes me laugh.  Yup … I’ve slowed down. A lot. Still getting things done … just a whole lot slower. Maybe a little too slow for some people, but that’s okay.

To steal a saying my daughter “coined” when she was just five (when we were pushing her to finish her food—she was such a slow eater … sniggle) … “I’m savouring it”, she’d say (where on earth does a five year old come up with a response like that?? LOL). I’m savouring it. Yes, indeed. I am savouring life with all its intricacies, ups and downs … and surprises. Serendipity at its best.

So I’m slower. That’s okay. It allows me to take more in. To savour everything I see. To stop and “smell the roses” …

Have you ever zoomed down the road, completely unaware of the things happening along the road side? Well, perhaps it’s time to slow down, take a look now and then to see just what is happening around you. Yup. To quote one of my favourite songs … “slow down, you’re movin’ to fast—gotta make the mornin’ last. Just kicking down the cobble stone …” (insert dreamy-eyed smile … yeah, love this song!) …

 

Hmmm. This is sounds vaguely familiar. Well, I’m not even going to check to see if I’ve already done a blog on this. Just enjoy my thoughts … and find the time to slow down. It will be worth your while. Believe me …

And, as I write this, I’m thinking ahead to the end of this month and into next month—life is going to get really busy, so I need to take my own advice and figure out how to keep chilled as I zip through my activities! WestEnd Celebration in Sand City CA 26-28 August (I’ve only committed to the 27th and will have my art and books there), then gear up for The trip to Memphis Tennessee for the Mid-South BookFest 9-11 September (I’ll be there with other authors from Inknbeans Press—it will be lovely to meet them all!), a women’s retreat (much needed personal time), Alzheimer’s Walk in Aptos CA on 24 September—something I try to do every year in memory of my dad … then October begins super craziness. Won’t even go into that. Yes. I need to make sure I slow down and smell the roses along the way through the remainder of August and all of September!

May your weekend and the upcoming week find you taking time to enjoy life, finding serendipity in your life. Peace to all of you.

 

 

Respite

I’VE FOUND THE INTERNET a little on the dismal side these days … what with the Great Debate about who to vote for (with all the mudslinging), the gender bashing, the violence … you name it, it’s happening. Way over the top. And I’ve grown very tired of it.

So, I’m going to avoid all of that. I don’t need that in my life right now. I’m trying to get my head wrapped around words. Words I’ve written that need editing. And images. I need to get my head wrapped around images I’ve photographed. Images that need to become works of art. Lots of things are waiting for that to happen.

But until I can do that—and there is a glimmer of hope that I’ll be back to doing all that very soon—I decided to go for a walk on Wednesday and take snapshots of pretty things along the way. So this blog is about that — walking, enjoying, taking a moment to stop and smell the flowers—even if only as an catchphrase …

I haven’t done much walking since my surgery. I’ve been reluctant, mostly because of the exhaustion I’ve experienced after little forays into life. So, when I knew my neighbor was not going to be available to take me over to pick up my truck after it was services … well, I was a wee bit anxious about making the jaunt over on foot. I’d done it before. Many times. No big deal—but I’d also been taking two-plus mile walks on a regular basis. I haven’t done that in three-plus months. That’s a long time for muscles to atrophy, right?

So, I started out—deciding that I’d take my time, use the Starbucks as a way station on the way over (if necessary) to recoup some energy. And, along the way, search for flowers to take picture of—forgetting that we are in the midst of summer … and a drought, so there were very few flowers. Weeds, yes. Garden-variety flowers, not so much. But that’s okay. The tenacity and vibrance of “weed” flowers was welcoming. They are so delicate — yet, manage to survive where to manicured flowers fail. I didn’t take a shot of mustard — not entirely sure why, but I did get the dainty

Horseradish Flower

It’s seen better days … but still, it is a pretty little thing.

horseradish bloom. And dandelion.

Dandelion

Lots of these along the way …

And quite a few others. I did find a few flowering garden plants up at the shopping center … and the rock rose planted along the overpass section.

Lily of the Nile

Can’t grow these in the yard … the deer love them.

More Dandelions

Dandelions … can’t tell if they are the same, just different stages. Hmm…

The wild roses were past their prime, so I skipped them. I can never remember the name of the sturdy — and very tall — bush with yellow

Yellow ... Very Yellow

Don’t know why I can’t remember it’s name!

flowers, but it catches my eye every time I make this walk.

By the time I made it to the mechanic’s shop, I was revitalises — Rock Roseyet exhausted –from my walk. Kind of an odd combination, don’t you think? I think the fatigue won in the end. I paid for the servicing of my truck and melted into the drivers seat to recover a bit before driving home.

Diedes at the Shopping Center

Different from what grows in my garden—like mine better …

Home. And a nap.

Now, I am thinking about my story … a first glimmer of hope for the story to come alive in my mind, once again. This is a good thing.

That was on Wednesday. Thursday was to be another wanderlust day to grab more photos, but the weather and our raging forest fire rained on my parade. The fog locked in all the smoke below the marine layer and they were saying the parts per million was upwards to 500—100-300 is unsafe for us folks to be in—as far north as Santa Cruz … so, needless to say, after a mandatory doctor’s appointment, I beat a quick retreat to my safe haven of locked doors and windows at home. The smoke still filtered in a little. Today was much better, so I did some errands that I couldn’t do yesterday, driving up Hwy 68 to get back home. I’d forgotten that the fire departments had taken over Toro Park as a staging area for the Big Sur area Soberantes Fire (this is a huge fire—well over 65,000 acres and only 55+/-% contained) … and all along the road were placards, cardboard signs and fancy plastic printed signs the size of a car, all saying thank you to the firefighters. From Monterey, all the way into Salinas. Their number increased, the closer to Toro Park I got. The shear volume peppering the side of the roadway made this humble soul tear up with each sign I saw. “Thank you”. “We love you”. “You are heroes”. “We love you, firefighters” … I would love to share some of the photos of the fire—they are terrifyingly beautiful … but they are easy enough to Google. I don’t think I could have pulled over to get even one of the thank you signs, as traffic and my blurred vision (from tears) hindered me enough.

But this. This outpouring of love is what I absolutely love to see. Nature is always beautiful … but to see the magnitude of love and care put into these signs—fills my heart with joy. It truly made my day.

There is a good side to humanity. It’s a pity it takes such tragic events for it to shine so brightly. Need I say more …?

Let me wish you an amazing weekend … and a blessed week ahead. Now, I’m going to go see the newest remake of Pete’s Dragon (came out today!)