I AM ALWAYS FINDING MYSELF scurrying around, trying to accomplish way too many things and, at the end of the day, I am disappointed at how little I seemed to have accomplished. I am a list maker — it’s the only way I can remember things. And it’s all about the quantity of items on that list. Forget about the complexity of things, how long it takes to do them, or any unplanned things that popped into the midst of my scheduled plans. I never seem to count those things, so by discounting them, I’ve demeaned the actual productivity of my day.
I don’t stress about it as much as I did in the past. The marking off of all items at the end of the day is definitely a thing of the past…yeah, it’s taking me longer to accomplish things, too (insert loud sigh here). Now, even if I don’t consider the complexity or things not even on the list, I try to be satisfied that something has been accomplished. I keep telling myself I want to simplify my life, yet I do the exact opposite: fill my time and life with so much ‘stuff’, both physical and emotional, creating a complicated, action-packed, and sometimes stressful life.
Stuff. We all have it (well, a very large portion of the population, at least). Do we need it? Probably not as much as we fiercely cling to. I am a ‘collector of things’…that’s a nice way of saying I don’t throw things out — well, not much anyway. I’m not a hoarder (thankfully), but this collection certainly creates a pretty big clutter. Those that have seen my house would agree. I have a friend that has offered to help purge my house. I’ve said no, not yet…not now, maybe later. Why? Because she’s ruthless. I mean, really ruthless…I once confided in another friend that she’d probably pick up an item and ask if I wanted it — and if I hesitated for even a nano-second, it’d be in the trash…giving me no time to evaluate the value (whether monetary or as a personal treasure) and I’m not ready to let go of things that fast.
So, my stuff continues taking up space. Thankfully I have room (way too much). But it would be nice to bid a permanent farewell to some of it. Who am I kidding? Most of it. Occasionally, I go into fits of purging and make a minuscule dent. I have a few rooms de-cluttered and it’s nice. There are still three rooms and (shudder) the garage to tackle. Oh. Did I mention the storage space? Things get tidier, then in the process of cleaning up, I create another clutter…it’s a Catch 22…definitely.
Shedding stuff is very difficult. It’s time consuming. Heart-wrenching. Painful, at times. And I get mired in memories, losing track of time, making little progress.
So, we’re back to my scurrying around, eh? Finding a chunk of time — on a regular basis to concentrate on this perpetual (it really is a year-round thing) ‘Spring Cleaning’ is hard. And as a card-carrying Procrastinator, it’s quite a challenge. Am I up to it? Am I up to the challenge with so many other things that seem far more important, vying for my attention — like writing/editing my books, writing this blog, socializing…traveling (insert huge grin)? I would love to be able to take back ownership of my home. To be in charge instead of being a slave to trying to keep things manageable…oh, my. Ha! I’d rather be gardening…or writing. Or just about anything else, rather than house cleaning, sorting through all my stuff.
Is there a magic genie that could just do it for me? Please?
I can dream, can’t I? May you find your life unfettered by clutter, yet filled to overflowing with blessings of joy.