Indecision …

I DO NOT WEAR INDECISION WELL … no, not at all. I don’t like seeing indecision in others, but even more so, I truly hate being the indecisive one. Yet, that is exactly what I’m about this month, it seems. I find myself still researching when I should be focused on more important things … sigh—like editing, writing, playing with my camera and creating art.

I know I said I wasn’t going to move … I was going to stay put in my little corner of paradise. Then an offer was dangled in front of my nose, making that decision difficult to keep. I keep doing the math … and say no, but I think of all the non-financial benefits … and scream yes! It’s the one place I love—close to Open Ground Studios, which means I’d be there more frequently (which thrills me!) … plus I’d have a garden to tinker in near by (not at the community I’m considering, but at my daughter’s home). It would mean very little housework, no yard to maintain … just a little patio for a few plants.

I keep expanding my search … and keep coming up with options that are out of my financial realm. If I qualified for assisted living, I could manage it—but who, in their right mind would wish that upon themselves. I am able and capable. And I’m hoping to stay that way for quite some time.

So, though I’m waiting on a reply to an email (answering questions that will put the final nail in the coffin, sealing it off from further investigation—at least for the present), I really have decided to stay in my home. I’ll be making long overdue improvements, painting the whole house (interior), and hiring a groundskeeper (aka: gardener) to tame my yard somewhat. I like it wild, but I absolutely must get rid of the poison oak once and for all. Also, I want to cut some trails (lay some gravel in the paths) in the upper hillside so I can meander, getting some good exercise in without leaving the yard. I’ll make some repairs and upgrades to outbuildings. All for me … but it will also make some good selling points when I do finally need to move out. Maybe I’ll even hire a housekeeper so I can keep the house dust-free, alleviating me of my worst allergen–dust (I am an awful housekeeper. I’d rather be gardening—even editing, rather than trying to clean house).

Funny thing is, I always thought I couldn’t afford those things—the gardener and housekeeper. But after looking at the huge outlay of funds for an apartment in a seniors community … well, it’s a drop in the bucket. It’s still a chunk of money and I’ll need to cut a few things out of my budget to feel comfortable about the added expense, but it will be better than moving into the seniors community (I’ll still have to cook for myself … bummer, right? Insert sheepish grin here).

I’ll eventually make that transition—doing a mega-downsizing, but for now, the plan is to clean up the long-neglected yard and house, get rid of things I have no use for (I’ve been reading articles about all those precious things we keep, to hand down to our children—turns out they don’t want them—so, I’ll check with my daughter to see if there are any items she wants to hang on to) … and begin living as a minimalist in terms of possessions. It’s been a goal of mine for a very long time. It will be nice to have finally achieved it.

With the weight and pressure of “needing to” move gone, I’m back to enjoying life. I’m still working towards purging useless things from my life and I’ve found a renewed appreciation for the beauty of my little corner of paradise. My creative mind seems to be on the move, which excites me. Ideas for the yard—simple but eye catching (for resale)—and the house … and my WIPs are finally begging (should I say pleading?) for attention.

Sniggle … I think I need a schedule so I can juggle all this creativity—a nice problem to have, don’t you think?

My dear readers, I hope your life is filled with blessings and joy that require a little juggling, to keep you buoyed up during the crazy times that creep in trying to pull you under.

Until next week, have a blessed Friday and weekend!